Have no fear, Cags is here

The Royals have called up top prospect Jac Caglianone.

I’m considering a petition to demand the Royals change their name to better reflect the sport they are playing these days. Something like Royals FC, Royals United or perhaps Inter Kansas City. Soccer names. That’s really what we saw this weekend at The K. Soccer.

Saturday: One-Nil
Sunday: Nil-One

The Royals are playing what the Italians call catenaccio, a defensive style of soccer that is literally translated to “door bolt.” There is no joy in this style. Lacking any urgency to score, it is brutalist in its defensive nature.

The Royals are putting one outstanding pitcher after another on the mound with the instruction to basically shut out the other team. This appears to be the only way they can win. Grind them down, and maybe the offense will provide a run or two to bag the victory. Give up anything, and the situation becomes grim.

Michael Wacha flirted with a no-hitter on Saturday, with the Tigers scratching out their first hit in the seventh.

Kris Bubic lowered his league-best ERA to 1.43 on Sunday, the only run he allowed crossed the plate on a wild pitch.

The Royals won one and lost one.

This is unbelievable.

Here’s something of an existential question for you on a Monday: How do you describe something that doesn’t exist?

I could write that the Royals offense is dreadful. Or I could say that it’s awful. Perhaps abysmal is the ideal word. Garbage is something that comes to mind, useful as both a noun and an adjective.

But as we’ve rolled into June, I’m starting to doubt the very existence of the Royals lineup. Sure, there’s a lineup card and bats and helmets and everything. But do they do anything?

Discuss among yourselves.

It is against this backdrop that we learned late Sunday night that Jac Caglianone would be making his way from Omaha to Kansas City. The Royals made it official on Monday, adding Caglianone to the roster while optioning Dairon Blanco to Omaha. While I’ve been among the voices preaching patience with Caglianone, it is clear that the Royals have to do something to inject life into an offense that all too frequently flatlines.

In 38 games in Double-A this season, Caglianone laid waste to Texas League pitching to the tune of .322/.394/.553, good for a wRC of 157, meaning he was 57 percent better than the average hitter in that league. That, and a quality spring training where he held his own, will get you fast-tracked to Triple-A. He’s spent just two weeks in a Storm Chasers uniform and has posted an outstanding .319/.370/.723. That’s a 166 wRC+. Yes, this is a smaller sample. Yes, he’s chasing pitches out of the zone a third of the time. Yes, he played six games in the hitters’ haven of Salt Lake.

Results are results, though. Sometimes, they cannot be ignored.

Photo: Minda Haas Kuhlmann | Flickr

In Omaha, Caglianone’s average exit velocity is 93.8 mph. Over 55 percent of the balls he’s put in play have left the bat faster than 95 mph. His average launch angle is 16 degrees. His walk rate is around 10 percent, and he’s striking out close to 20 percent of the time. Those numbers will surely fluctuate in the majors, but they’re more than good enough at the moment. He has done everything offensively in the minor leagues that the Royals have asked.

Caglianone has played 12 games total in right field between Double and Triple-A, although most of those games have come in the last month. He’s played two in left. It’s probably safe to assume he will rotate between right field and designated hitter. He will also likely get a little time at first base.

I’m slightly concerned about the defense, but the overwhelming need for offense means that the former can be addressed another day. Meaning, it will be easy for the Royals to minimize his exposure if necessary. They are scoring 3.3 runs per game. If he misplays a ball in right or throws to the wrong bag, the Royals can deal with that as long as he’s hitting. An intensive defensive course in the outfield can be undertaken in the winter if that’s the direction they decide to go.

Since setting a franchise record for most home runs hit in a game with seven against the Orioles on May 4, the Royals have hit nine home runs since.

In the game before that, the Royals hit three home runs. Yes, there was a two-game stretch where this team somehow hit 10 baseballs that exited the field in fair territory. They have only hit 34 home runs as a team this season.

This means almost 30 percent of their season home run total came in two days in Baltimore.

We all want to see Cags. The Royals need Cags.

I hate to drive the hype train when it comes to prospects, but Cags coming to Kansas City is an event on par with the debuts of Bo Jackson, Alex Gordon and Bobby Witt Jr. That’s some enormous pressure to place on a guy with zero major league plate appearances, but this is the situations the Royals currently occupy. Had they run out a league-average offense to this point, they would probably be letting him continue to take his rips in Triple-A. Yet there is a tremendous need in Kansas City so he’s coming now.

There will be adjustments that will need to be made. He will struggle at times. Success is never guaranteed.

Look back at the three I name-dropped above. Two years out of high school, Witt struggled in his first season at times before showing improvement in year two and then breaking out in his third season. It took Gordon four seasons, a return trip to the minors and a position change before he found his footing. Jackson…well, he’s a special case.

But maybe Caglianone doesn’t have anything left to prove in the minors. Maybe he’s ready after just a third of the season. Maybe…just maybe, he’s a catalyst who can ignite some production.

It’s time to find out.

Jac is here. Let’s go.